Absolutes

There are NO absolutes!	Really? Is that so?
Yes! Everybody knows that.	Okay. That’s one.
What? What do you mean? I just said there are NO absolutes and you agreed with me. How can you say, ...’that’s one’?	Well, if there are NO absolutes and that statement is accurate, then there must be at least ONE absolute. Right?
Uh, right. Okay, that’s the only absolute then.	There’s two.
What kind of logic is that? Okay, Okay! Then there aren’t any more absolutes! We’re done!	That’s three. Want to go for four?
Wait, wait! You don’t understand! Let me put it this way. There is no absolute truth!	NO truth?
Yes!	That’s four.
No, listen, everyone knows that everything is relative!	That’s five.
You’re an idiot! You aren’t using your head! Listen to me! Truth is different for each individual. THERE IS NO UNIVERSAL STANDARD OF TRUTH!	Each person makes up his own truth? Each person does what is right in his own eyes? There is no universal standard of Truth?
Exactly!	That’s also six.
You are the most stupid, exasperating person I’ve ever met! You have no idea what you’re talking about!	None?
No! Not in any way, shape or form!	That’s seven.
This is insane! Give me ONE example of a universal truth!	How about, ...’what goes up, must come down’?
I can’t believe I’m having this conversation! Okay, that’s the Law of Gravity.	That’s eight. Now, what about, ...’for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.’? Or...’everything is going from a state of order to a state of disorder.’?
Well...if you’re going to throw scientific jargon at me.	That’s nine AND ten.
Okay! Okay! But that’s it! And don’t say, that’s eleven, either! You’ll have to do better than that!	All right. ...‘I AM the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father, but through ME.’
I don’t trust that statement! It’s Jesus, right? He’s saying He’s the Savior of mankind and that to go to heaven you have to accept HIM and ONLY Him. Right?	Right!
No, that’s too narrow! What about all the other religions? And besides, I have to know something’s true before I’ll trust it.	You mean like, . . .’everybody dies physically.’? Another absolute?
Oh.	You’ve been wrong 12 times out of 12. So, who’s more reliable, you, or Jesus?